How to Board a U.S. Plane Without a Gov't ID

So my driver's license was stolen or lost or something while I was visiting my brother in Ft. Lauderdale. This is not a huge deal since my brother did the driving in FL and I don't need to drive very much in DC. However, I did need to board a plane to get back home. Now with no gov't issued and no picture i.d. at all. Yikes. There was some panicking and calling around although I figured -- hey, this kind of thing must happen all the time. They must have figured out a way to do this.

Both the TSA and JetBlue told me what to do. Which was to show up as is and just be as straightforward as possible with everyone about my situation. I would be selected for special screening. And I was. My strategy whenever confronted with a large bureaucracy is to acknowledge and respect the power over my life's course that each individual member of the bureaucracy has. They know the system. They are the system. Each person has the power to help you or hurt you while you are in their circle of influence.

Honesty helps -- they've heard any lies you might think of before. A clear and sincere willingness to follow all instructions helps. Using terms like "Yes, ma'am" and "No, sir" helps more than you can imagine. It's important not to try and be funny or make a joke until the other person does lest you seem disrespectful. That said, smiling (when appropriate) helps. People in a bureaucracy rarely make a lot of money and so they derive satisfaction from the exercise of their considerable power. My goal is to trigger a positive influence of that power rather than a negative one.

I turned on the big brown puppy eyes of helplessness a couple of times and almost had to start crying at one point when a man in a uniform refused to accept that I had no picture id of any kind. That was in front of the x-ray machines. I had to go through the special machine that blows puffs of air on you and my carry-ons were searched.

That was the worst of it though. I got to the airport earlier than normal in case I was detained, interrogated and slapped around a little in a back room before my flight. I was a little worried about checking my bag as my collapsible sword the Pearl was in there. My bag handle is a bit stiff now and almost broken and there was a note saying that my bag had been searched. 

I was just glad my luggage hadn't been confiscated and possibly blown up in the Ft Lauderdale airport parking lot. Anyway, just another adventure. In fact, it was really nice how sympathetic and understanding almost everyone was from the TSA and JetBlue people on the phone to the security people at the airport. This might not have been the case in some other countries where they take their bureaucracy a little more seriously like France for example. Americans are really good people and even though the entire situation gives me some concerns about the level of security in this country (the TSA never asked for my name on the phone for example), I am re-assured that 9/11 has not changed us such that we are truly suspicious of each other.

Comments

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