Further Reflections on Landmark

So I've had a chance to talk to some other friends about the Landmark experience and also to see a little how it has impacted my life. While a couple warned me it was a cult that had sucked in friends and family, others were very curious and wanted to know more.

In speaking with the friends and family who have done the forum and had encouraged me to go, we were all in agreement that the hard sell approach of Landmark was unnecessary and distracting. Really, it kind of sells itself and Landmark would do well to pull about 75% of the sales stuff out of the forum's curriculum.

As part of the curriculum, here you are fresh from a possibly significant realization in your life, possibly head spinning, a little confused and they try to convince you that the most amazing, significant thing you can do with this new sunlight in your life is call as many people as possible to give them the gift of Landmark.

I think urging people to call their loved ones is a good thing, especially at that moment. I think urging people to call their loved ones and tell them to sign up for Landmark? Maybe not so great.

I got feedback from a couple of people who said the Tues eve last session was all sales. I felt I'd already gotten what I was going to get out of it, so I bailed. And I'm ok with that.

Certainly, for those who are vulnerable or don't have a strong support system in their lives post-Landmark forum, I can see how you might want to join the Church of Landmark. One friend told me, some people make this their whole lives and social arena because they just aren't sure if they can deal with their lives and with the revelation they had on their own. I think there's also a danger that you might react to this type of experience wanting more -- like it's a drug. They come back and back looking for another hit, another big boom in their self-awareness. This is immature. If you had a breakthrough or Aha! moment everyday, it wouldn't be a breakthrough, now would it?

Don't let that happen to you if you are thinking of doing this. Have the moment, learn something from it, move on.

Landmark is a for-profit, well-branded, multinational corporation. Not unlike Starbucks, they would love your total customer loyalty and for you to eat, sleep, work and socialize there and nowhere else. They want you to be a brand evangelist for them and tell as many people to use their products as you can, not unlike Procter and Gamble. And don't misunderstand me: the Forum is a product that is consumed.

It's a shame because the Forum is an incredible experience that doesn't need the hard sell, really. What happens to you is not like buying a timeshare or a used car! It's for most people, very personal and re-vitalizing. The peer-to-peer sales push is ultimately counter-productive and detracts from/degrades the experience.

So should you do it? I think the Landmark Forum is an especially useful tool if you are in a place in your life -- career, one or all of your relationships, etc -- where you feel stuck or are even in a downward spiral. The Forum is somehow designed to consistently dislodge for each person whatever psychological hairball deep inside you needs hacking up. It just is!

And anyone who tells you that nothing happened to them and they got nothing out of it is lying to you because whatever light bulb went on or hairball came up was kinda scary or major for them and they don't want to talk about it. At least with you. Or they are pissed off by the sales stuff and it's their way of telling you not to consider it.

Cognitive science will tell us someday what formula Landmark stumbled upon that finds the keys to locked doors in people's minds. Doors they locked themselves. It's like acupuncture -- we still don't know exactly how it works. We just know that for most people, it does. I think it probably depends on who your instructor is. We had 2 -- one seasoned pro and a trainee. The pro was really a very special, warm, wise, intelligent person in his own right but I can see how if it had been the less educated, greener trainee or someone else doing it how my experience might have been different.

Landmark gave me something priceless -- the opportunity to walk my mother, while she still lives, through how much she was loved by her husband and about the miracle in her own life we'd all overlooked. She went through so much and is such an amazing and giving person -- it meant a lot to both of us. Our spa afternoon at Elizabeth Arden the day after was delightful. (My mother: "Any more revelations?" PT: "No, I'm good. I mean, I feel like that was enough!") And believe it or not, many many people have very powerful experiences in the Forum. In general, if you can resist/dismiss all the sales garbage, it's definitely worth your time.

A couple of pointers:

- bring lots of food, e.g. healthy snacks and a lunch
- bring a big bottle of water to drink during class
- bring a sweater
- bring a cushion or pillow for your uncomfortable chair
- charge up your cellphone and bring it; there may be at least one person you'll want to call and talk to about what dawned on you
- change your sitting position from time to time and stretch during the breaks
- do the homework
- get as much sleep as you can (it will help with bouncing off the hard sell)
- don't get into judging too much about other people's stories; just concentrate on your own stuff and let it go
- there's no way to get an A or even a check plus in Landmark Forum. believe me, my competitive, goal-oriented streak was activated by Day 2 as it is in all classes and it's just not possible. this is truly the gradeless, no credit class. just relax and enjoy the rollercoaster ride.
- take a walk during a break, and see if there's some nature or a park nearby. You will feel refreshed and better able to integrate your experience. For me, one of the best parts was taking one of the monks (Caroline) to the creek I'd found and standing barefoot with her on the cool, flat stones letting the clear water rush past our feet, smiing up at the sun...

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