Life Lessons

I was talking to a friend about watermelon yesterday. It reminded me of my much older cousin Romus, who was the tallest man in my family. My brother once confessed that he thought Romus at 6'2" was literally a giant. Like from the fairy tales. Romus is a gentle giant, a man with a generous spirit and an upright, hearty laugh. He and my cousin Geraldine grew up near each other in North Carolina in the country. When I was a kid, he brought some of the country with him and grew fruits and vegetables in his suburban backyard. He was proud of his lettuce and especially looked forward to the watermelon coming in.

Romus could have a pretty lengthy discussion on the merits and virtues of watermelon. I think it might be a black man thing because one of my father's favorite memories from childhood, a story he'd wait til the hottest dog day of summer to tell, involved the donkey cart of ice cold watermelon that would come down Dolphin Street, his street, when he was a boy. It's like this weird black person stereotype that we're really into watermelon. It's kinda true, tho. Did you know watermelon is the most common scent put into hair care products targeted at African-American women? Yeah, it's totally racist. But they wouldn't keep doing it if it didn't help sales, right?

Anyway, I digress. The fact is that Romus' neighbors at first objected to the bama-fication of Romus' backyard. They'd all worked hard to leave that behind and live in manicured suburban splendor. There was tension -- until Romus decided to start sharing some of his sugar baby small round watermelons (the kind they sell in Whole Foods as "fancy" now) with his neighbors. They became enthusiastic supporters and one of his neighbors even watered and weeded Romus' garden while he went on vacation. He sure was proud of those sugar babies -- and of his good relationships in the community. I always remembered that story and have put that lesson on how to increase the peace to good use at times in my own life. Sharing the best of yourself with people can produce mutual gain and goodwill. These days, I'm growing my own lettuce and hope to have enough to share.

There's a lot to learn in life. I ran across this article on a colleague's blog and I think it's a good read. There's some good advice and some perspective. People can surprise you with their wisdom. Here's an excerpt. Enjoy:

<blockquote>Dear two high school kids I briefly met on the M-11 this morning as I was coming home from Temple and you were heading to school:

I knew you were in high school because one of you asked if the other one wanted to sign your yearbook. When I saw the yearbook, I realized that we in fact went to the same high school, and I graduated 18 years before you. I graduated the year you were born.

With that that unbelievable fact rolling around in my brain, I’m going to take the liberty of the elders, and offer you some un-asked-for advice. Do with it what you will.

As you pack up your things, and spend the summer getting ready to head off to college somewhere, remember that you’re coming from an upbringing in the greatest city in the world. That means you’re going to be light-years ahead of whomever your Freshman year roommate happens to be. But… Don’t look down on them. While you might be ahead of them from a “city street smart” perspective, never forget that they’ve got eighteen years of experiences of their own to share. You can learn from them, if you let yourself. This goes for everyone you meet throughout your life. The ability to stop talking, and actually listen once in a while will be one of your greatest assets. I promise you this. Don’t let it take you 18 years to learn.

At some point during your freshman year, get your butts over to the study abroad office and introduce yourself. You think you’re bogged down with work during “finals?” Wait until you’re 10 years out of college, on deadlines, and the choice isn’t “go to a bar and pull an all-nighter to write that paper or ask for an extension,” but rather “finish the client report, don’t go out, probably skip dinner, get two hours of sleep and be back in the office at 7am, or get fired.” Your workload during the next four years won’t have ANYTHING on your workload for the 40 years after that. Remember that, and study abroad for at least one semester, if not more. If you don’t do it, you’ll be kicking yourself every day that you didn’t. See the world while you still can. I promise you - traveling the world on business is NOT the same as traveling the world for exploration. Every conference room will ALWAYS look the same on a business trip, whether Phuket or Peoria. Trust me on this. Do it now. Need even more proof? Read this: Confessions from 8,000 Miles Away.

Expect greatness, prepare for utter failure and never be unwilling to change. You’re going to have incredible moments of greatness in your life, I promise you. The things you’re going to do successfully are so incredible, your little high-school brains can’t even begin to process them now. You’re going to be amazing, I have no doubt.</blockquote>

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