Love and Power

So this weekend I had a bit of a challenge in that there were some men from my past at a large gathering. In addition to, as it turned out, a couple of men in my present who expressed interest in pursuing a relationship. I just started dating someone here so I'm going to keep those guys as friends I hope. That was relatively easy to manage.

More challenging were the men from my past in D.C. As it turned out, all the interactions with them revolved around power. One sought power over my body, one over my time and another over my own power and influence which he feels he's partly helped to create.

This forced me to begin a confrontation of what has to be one of my greatest fears = a man having power over my personal life in some way. (Along with heights and falling. And drowning. And centipedes) When you have a brother or friend-type relationship, things often feel more equal, at least to me.  When the heart gets involved it can feel different. Some guys want to stake a claim or demonstrate some kind of ownership or power or influence over you and your behavior and your thoughts and dreams. Traditionally, I've usually played it coy and wiggly when I sense an air of possession and entitlement in a man toward me.

I don't like the thought of anyone owning me or having a claim. I enjoy the great luxury that is freedom and have fought hard enough for it. 70% of professional black women are single so I'm not alone there either.

The thing is -- I'm a big believer in confronting your fears. Because only when you are free from fear are you truly free. So if this is one of my fears, should I try to cultivate a relationship with a man who can lay claim on me while preserving --- and possibly increasing -- my sense of freedom and independence?

Comments

[Siren888]

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[North Face Outlet]

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