He's a bit older than me, maybe 10 years. That's one thing about moving to SF. The place is just lousy with fit, successful single men of all ages. It's like being able to fish with a frying pan. He's a very interesting person. Perhaps one of the most sophisticated and intelligent men I've dated. You should see his bookcase! (Which btw is a great way to learn about what makes someone tick). Art, philosophy, science, history, poetry, science fiction, classics, techie, business, travel -- fascinating. His music collection is gorgeous.
We're actually a lot alike, which is novel for me. No date with Phil is without adventure, which I like. He's great. So warm, creative, expressive and imaginative, yet financially responsible & accomplished. There's a little grey in his hair which is still shocks me a little since there is as much as over twenty years' age difference between him and some of the men I've recently dated. And while I've enjoyed the pleasures of dating super-hot younger twenty-somethings and while there's something to be said for hunger, energy and enthusiasm, there's also something to be said for experience. A lot to be said. Phil and I have been seeing each other for a little while and the more I learn about him, the more I like what I see.
Sure, there's a part of me that has a soft spot for another guy. But the truth is that we haven't talked about anything aside from power and politics and changing the world in forever. It's like DC is a town obsessed. Consumed. If you're interested in other things, too, it's like there's something wrong with you.
"S" is a great person: a great man who is going to do great things. Already has. And sure, I'll admit it. Part of his tantalizing allure for me is that he's eluded me. And it's true - I like getting what I want. Who doesn't? And I wanted to know all about him -- on every level you can know a man. I wanted to experience his passion, intensity, perception, compassion and intelligence on an additional plane.
But it's so foolish to overlook the gifts that you have in pursuit of something that might not be what you really want or need. As Eckert Tolle writes: Acknowledging the good that is already in your life is the foundation of all abundance. Since he's been dating this one chick, he's gotten well, sort of boring & pedestrian & conservative in mindset. Somehow slightly narrow-minded. Some people open you up and some close you down. I guess I want to be opened up. He did that for me...once.
And really, when you truly love someone, you just want them to be happy and thriving, whatever that looks like for them. Perhaps instead of Orson Welles/Eartha Kitt, we can be more like Judi Dench/Pierce Brosnan. (???) Ok, or something else. I'll figure out a template. We can be brother and sister in arms for the Struggle. There's a lot of work to do and it's important to work alongside people you respect and trust. I have a lot of great friends & colleagues who happen to be men and the best really do feel like brothers to me.
Things are still new between Phil and me, so don't get too excited. You know me...
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