Pink Thunder

Flying and All Up in the Face of Conventional Wisdom.

Secret Indian

So professionally speaking, I'm blacker than ever now that I'm out of the closet on my other blog. I talk about black people and black culture and black politics. Happy to do so, too.

Though a part of me feels a little strange about it. In America, mostly you have to choose a race, no matter what your actual genetic makeup might be. People usually go with the one they most look like. Society kinda encourages this. So Tiger Woods very seldom talks about being half-Asian. It's like that part of himself doesn't matter. With Barack Obama, he actually pulls out his whiteness from time to time to remind people when forced to remind folks he doesn't hate white people. (sigh)

When I wake up in the morning and brush my teeth, my Indian blood is the first thing I see in my own slanted eyes. It's not really something that's easily ignored once you know.

With my father's side, being a little bit Indian is about identity. At some point someone or in my case multiple people have the talk with you. The talk that goes a little like: "You know we're part Cherokee, right? You're also Cherokee." My father's mother was half-white and half-Cherokee.

On my mother's side, it's always been less about identity since that was pretty submerged. My grandmother didn't feel safe really being straight about her own heritage until well into her eighties. It was just easier and less complicated to be black than black plus a whole bunch of other stuff. It came out in pieces over time but from what she's told me, she's actually more Indian than black and has plenty of white blood too. Her no-good grandfather's family owned most of the land in and around Catonsville MD at one time. But her father and his brother grew up poor, uneducated and illegitimate born on the other side of the tracks. They took their Indian mother's name as their surname since their father wouldn't claim them publicly. They tried when he died to claim some of their inheritance to no avail.

Her other grandparents were Indian and black each. But I didn't know anything about that as a kid. Instead I grew up with a lot of customs and traditions that I would only understand as an adult to be Indian culture.

I ate a lot of succotash as a kid. I didn't like it much but it was sort of like milk. Succotash was portrayed as a food for growing kids' bones. My mom told us we had to eat it because it would help us grow. Fried fish for breakfast with cornbread, tomatoes and raw onions on many Sundays. Holidays are alcohol-free, always. We were instructed never to drink water that had been left uncovered over night because it soaked up unhealthy spirits and bad energy at night from dreams.

We were taught that dreams were important and coached regularly on how to interpret them and proper action regarding certain types of dreams. So for example, if you had a nightmare, you couldn't tell anyone about it until you'd eaten or drunk something otherwise it might come true in this world. Taking something orally broke the connection between the spirit world and this one.

If you had a dream involving a relative who died, it meant they were trying to communicate a lesson or teaching from the other side. Those dreams were extremely important and taken pretty seriously with much discussion and analysis.

We were taught the difference between dreams and visions. We were told that each person will receive at least one vision in your lifetime meant to guide your life going forward. This is true actually, though many people don't like to talk about their vision because they've received no guidance and don't know what to do with the information. I've had 4 visions in my life so far at critical junctions and they've mostly been comforting visions meant to keep my feet sure on the path when challenges have arisen or are coming. Also, through remote reiki healing, I've had something like a vision when doing healing with my grandmother. That was pretty powerful, though I'm not ready to share that openly yet.

Visions are ok to talk about in my family and can provide a lot of guidance. The difference between a dream or daydream and a vision is that a vision is real. During a vision, you are temporarily forced into another reality for an experience that is not possible in this one in order to accelerate knowledge.On your return to this reality state, you are expanded with new wisdom and guidance for your future decisions.

I've been taught a lot about weather too, like how to smell snow coming or watch to see if you can see the wind blowing up the backs of the leaves to tell if rain's a-coming. It's a hot summer coming if the bumblebees are fat. There's a charge in the air and a heavy feeling when rain is marching toward you about an hour or 2 away on a hot bright summer day. Nothing good will come of an orange sky. The skill of smelling water even when you can't see it near you is a useful one actually. A bit of clay dug from the ground is good for mosquito bites. Cornmeal can be used in a loose paste to wash your face cleaner than any soap.

There are other customs such as my grandmother's insistence on New Year's Day that a man and not a woman must be the first person to cross your threshold or it's bad luck. Kinda sexist, I know. But as I've found out, it's a classic Native American superstition/tradition/whatever. While my grandmother has mostly been indulged on that score, more sacred is the custom that you cannot cut a male child's hair before he is 3 years old. No one's sure what will happen if you do cut a boy's hair but no one's been interested in finding out. In my brother's case, my mother braided his hair in a pigtail and tucked it under his shirt so he'd appear normal. For some of my cousins, there are some pretty cute pics of them with pretty sizable afros.

I've been told I look Piscataway by some Piscataway. They are a small tribe in MD with a tough past. Not many of them remain except us "negro mongrels" as this Catholic site calls us. Like many smaller tribes, when the trouble came, many intermarried, went underground and tried to blend in, becoming the secret Indians passing down their heritage in whispers. My grandmother could never remember the tribe her grandmother on her mother's side was from. She would shape her mouth to try to say the word, her eyes gazing into the middle distance but it got stuck there -- never uttered. So I'll research the Piscataway (pronounced "piss -- KAT - away") to see if they are a match. For the other side, misted even further in darkness, I've only got the customs, some of which I still keep, to go on. Though I ain't eating no succotash.

July 27, 2008 in Roll of Thunder | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

Life Lessons

I was talking to a friend about watermelon yesterday. It reminded me of my much older cousin Romus, who was the tallest man in my family. My brother once confessed that he thought Romus at 6'2" was literally a giant. Like from the fairy tales. Romus is a gentle giant, a man with a generous spirit and an upright, hearty laugh. He and my cousin Geraldine grew up near each other in North Carolina in the country. When I was a kid, he brought some of the country with him and grew fruits and vegetables in his suburban backyard. He was proud of his lettuce and especially looked forward to the watermelon coming in.

Romus could have a pretty lengthy discussion on the merits and virtues of watermelon. I think it might be a black man thing because one of my father's favorite memories from childhood, a story he'd wait til the hottest dog day of summer to tell, involved the donkey cart of ice cold watermelon that would come down Dolphin Street, his street, when he was a boy. It's like this weird black person stereotype that we're really into watermelon. It's kinda true, tho. Did you know watermelon is the most common scent put into hair care products targeted at African-American women? Yeah, it's totally racist. But they wouldn't keep doing it if it didn't help sales, right?

Anyway, I digress. The fact is that Romus' neighbors at first objected to the bama-fication of Romus' backyard. They'd all worked hard to leave that behind and live in manicured suburban splendor. There was tension -- until Romus decided to start sharing some of his sugar baby small round watermelons (the kind they sell in Whole Foods as "fancy" now) with his neighbors. They became enthusiastic supporters and one of his neighbors even watered and weeded Romus' garden while he went on vacation. He sure was proud of those sugar babies -- and of his good relationships in the community. I always remembered that story and have put that lesson on how to increase the peace to good use at times in my own life. Sharing the best of yourself with people can produce mutual gain and goodwill. These days, I'm growing my own lettuce and hope to have enough to share.

There's a lot to learn in life. I ran across this article on a colleague's blog and I think it's a good read. There's some good advice and some perspective. People can surprise you with their wisdom. Here's an excerpt. Enjoy:

<blockquote>Dear two high school kids I briefly met on the M-11 this morning as I was coming home from Temple and you were heading to school:

I knew you were in high school because one of you asked if the other one wanted to sign your yearbook. When I saw the yearbook, I realized that we in fact went to the same high school, and I graduated 18 years before you. I graduated the year you were born.

With that that unbelievable fact rolling around in my brain, I’m going to take the liberty of the elders, and offer you some un-asked-for advice. Do with it what you will.

As you pack up your things, and spend the summer getting ready to head off to college somewhere, remember that you’re coming from an upbringing in the greatest city in the world. That means you’re going to be light-years ahead of whomever your Freshman year roommate happens to be. But… Don’t look down on them. While you might be ahead of them from a “city street smart” perspective, never forget that they’ve got eighteen years of experiences of their own to share. You can learn from them, if you let yourself. This goes for everyone you meet throughout your life. The ability to stop talking, and actually listen once in a while will be one of your greatest assets. I promise you this. Don’t let it take you 18 years to learn.

At some point during your freshman year, get your butts over to the study abroad office and introduce yourself. You think you’re bogged down with work during “finals?” Wait until you’re 10 years out of college, on deadlines, and the choice isn’t “go to a bar and pull an all-nighter to write that paper or ask for an extension,” but rather “finish the client report, don’t go out, probably skip dinner, get two hours of sleep and be back in the office at 7am, or get fired.” Your workload during the next four years won’t have ANYTHING on your workload for the 40 years after that. Remember that, and study abroad for at least one semester, if not more. If you don’t do it, you’ll be kicking yourself every day that you didn’t. See the world while you still can. I promise you - traveling the world on business is NOT the same as traveling the world for exploration. Every conference room will ALWAYS look the same on a business trip, whether Phuket or Peoria. Trust me on this. Do it now. Need even more proof? Read this: Confessions from 8,000 Miles Away.

Expect greatness, prepare for utter failure and never be unwilling to change. You’re going to have incredible moments of greatness in your life, I promise you. The things you’re going to do successfully are so incredible, your little high-school brains can’t even begin to process them now. You’re going to be amazing, I have no doubt.</blockquote>



June 30, 2008 in Roll of Thunder | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

How I Feel Now

I've been reading some Marcus Aurelius but also ran across this. It's exactly how I feel right now...

From My Neighbor Totoro. Which is an awesome movie in either English or Japanese:

May 05, 2008 in Roll of Thunder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Over the Treetops of Baltimore

I've spent the holidays on the sixth floor of Sinai Hospital in Baltimore. From the large picture window in my grandmother room -- 638 -- I can see the giant complex's shot tower with its glowing tiny red eye. The nearby tree line now denuded of leaves allows me to peek out at the houses just past them and far in the distance I can see the skyline, by day and night, of downtown Balto. Every evening at sunset a giant flock of dark birds (I think they might be starlings) swoops and turns around in front of the windows in breathtaking aerobatics.

I've spent every Christmas of my life with my grandmother and well, this is different. It's a bit like a real life -- what if the Grinch stole Christmas? What if there were no presents and no tree, no candy canes, no dinner, no gathering around a warm fire and holiday movie with cups of hot cocoa with your nearest and dearest?

Well, there have been parts of Christmas. The trappings of the ancient festival are all around you and inescapable. That's been a massive comfort to me -- that I can be swept up in Christmas whether I am able to contribute to the holiday or not. I can see much more clearly though how oppressive in a way it must seem if you are of a different religion.

Sinai is a Jewish hospital and the patients and families are a mix of blacks and Jews -- mostly the Orthodox families that are still left in the neighborhood. The Liberty Heights neighborhood where my grandmother lives was once the Jewish part of Baltimore for many years and this hospital complex was built I think to serve them. Baltimore in the not so distant past was divided up into blacks, whites and Jews. If you weren't one of those (and even if you were) you had to pick a side. Actually a fictional movie called "Liberty Heights" was made a few years back that focuses on the era of transition in the 60s (I think).

Continue reading "Over the Treetops of Baltimore" »

December 27, 2007 in Roll of Thunder | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

My Cousin, "Lindsey Lohas" and BlueEgg

My cousin Andrea has taken a gig with a new eco-lifestyle mag called BlueEgg. Here she is in a funny short video called "Eco-Intervention". Check it -- she's the cool chick with the smokin' Tina Turner t-shirt and comb-out fro:

October 18, 2007 in Roll of Thunder | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

Time for a Change

So Pink Family, I want you to know that changes are coming. Changes to my hair. I have had just about every hairstyle a black woman can have except for one. Ok, I never had a Jheri curl, but there were other processes in that vein. I had the Wave Nouveau in college -- basically you straighten the hair and then perm it. It was sort of cute: full, wavy and fluffy.

The last remaining style are locs. When I say this to white people, they are like huh? You may know them as dreadlocks, but that is one variation. There are dreadlocks which are given to you by um, Jah and also cultivated locs which are more popular today. More on locs, locks, dreadlocks, etc here.

Cultivated locs are the hair of the ancient Egyptians. Contemporary historians in contrast to those of the ancient world have chosen to ignore or deny the African-based culture of Egypt, yet those who are actually familiar with the history can tell you that the African influences and heritage of the ancient Egyptians is not only well-documented in historical sources but obvious on the face of it. Full disclosure: my father was a historian specializing in Africa.

But I digress. When I have told people I am going to change my hair, there are usually 2 reactions. One is "NO! I LOVE your hair. You CAN'T change!" along with some sulking and pouting. The other is "That's cool. Can't wait to see it." Or "Wow, that's interesting. You will find that different people will be attracted to you." Or the beautiful pep talk a dear friend gave me when I told her I was a little apprehensive in the face of so much resistance: "Your beauty will shine through no matter what your hair looks like." Aww shucks...

It's true that my current blond braids have met with almost universal approval -- a novel experience. Black women's hair is such a statement of your personal philosophy -- there's a lot of economics and politics in each style. I think this is probably not su much the case for other ethnicities. For example, if you straighten your hair old-school, you are saying to the world, I am a traditionalist. A "good girl" with "correct", risk-averse hair. If you have a weave, you are saying, I am a modern woman who wants the look of tradition with the convenient secret of a non-chemicalized natural cornrow underneath.

Fros, braids and locs all say very different things to the world with subtle variations and sub-statements within each genre. And don't even get me started on the significance of different colors.

Continue reading "Time for a Change" »

January 11, 2007 in Roll of Thunder | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

"I Had A Dream" -- A Documentary

My cousin CC is working hard on a movie about her father, my uncle William Contee Jr. You can watch the trailer here (I'm in it!)

Also, you can read this old post that is partly about him: Borobudur in a Dream. If you like.

If you would like to help CC finish the film, please consider donating whatever you can --  every little bit helps -- here. Thanks in advance.

In other family news, one of my father's unfinished books on Henry Sylvester Williams is about to be submitted for publication thanks to Professor Emory Talbot of Howard University who has edited and compiled it his papers with my mom's help. Hopefully it will be accepted!


 

November 11, 2006 in Roll of Thunder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Fear, Survival, Wishes

So remember I was having dinner recently with a friend. She told me all about how she wrote down everything she feared, everything she's survived and everything she wished for. All of it. From the big to the small. And then burned it.

So I was curious. I thought it might make an interesting project. Boy, I had no idea what I was in for. Before you scoff or laugh -- I suggest you try this for yourself before you judge and come back and talk to me about it.

It took a lot longer than I thought and a couple of days to do this. And that's with summing a whole set of experiences with one or 2 lines. Like wolf spiders and my feelings about them. Listing all the things I'd survived was a little painful. I guess I should have been more proud, but at the same time it's rough to drag it all out and take a good hard look at what you've been carrying around, what you've actually lived through. Then there was the wishing. Things I feared and had survived took 6 pages each. Things I wished for: 9.

Continue reading "Fear, Survival, Wishes" »

October 15, 2006 in Roll of Thunder | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Update on Being a Little Bit Cherokee

So I've gotten some interesting results from this recent post. I got some advice on how to become a card-carrying Cherokee--some things I knew already and some things I don't. (Thanks y'all) The bottom line is that my great-grandmother isn't on the census rolls under her married name and I don't know (yet) what her maiden one was. Nowadays we have genetic testing anyway and my brother and I already plan to team up to sort out our mysterious and colorful ancestry together. There's a lot of paperwork involved with being registered as Indian in any kind of official way(if that's even something we'll do). Who knew? It's best done as a family project.

Unlike some other black folks, the legends in my family of non-black ancestors center more on love, curiosity and committment than on rape. I am sure there were one or two rapes or coercions in there somewhere. It was apparently just so common during slavery times. It leaves light-skinned black folks with mixed feelings about who they see in the mirror at times.

In some ways, we are fetishized and stigmatized by both whites and darker African-Americans who are in the majority. One of my friends said regarding the Cherokee post -- "you know you're going to have to deal with the whiteness at some point. I mean, you are the palest black person I have ever known".

Continue reading "Update on Being a Little Bit Cherokee" »

September 07, 2006 in Roll of Thunder | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Being A Little Bit Cherokee

I'm not even sure where to start this so I'm just going to cut to the chase here which is that my father went to his grave without telling his wife or more importantly either of his children that he was half Cherokee. Oh he told me that his mother was half-white. I understood that clearly. He just never covered the other part. The part about her being half Cherokee and identifying personally as Cherokee, ethnically speaking.

Let's have an imaginary conversation with his ghost, shall we?

PT: So, uh, were you ever planning to get around to that? Or did I really just have to figure all that out on my own with the help of the rest of your siblings? That she just wasn't actually black. At all.

Daddy: (sheepish, mischievous grin) Um, did I not mention that?

PT: No. No, not so much. I mean, you devoted your entire career to understanding and teaching the history of the African diaspora and to uplifting "your race" when you could have just as easily chosen a whole other race to understand and uplift. An arguably even more downtrodden and tragic race, no less. Please explain.

Daddy: (....) (proud grin) You are so smart, kiddo!

Continue reading "Being A Little Bit Cherokee" »

August 24, 2006 in Roll of Thunder | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)

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